Observation

Saturday night, I was in my backyard. This is a small miracle given that with DVD, Cable, an Ipod, and a computer I was even outside. But my 5 year old son wanted to draw on the patio with "chops" (chalks - I kicked him in the head a lot as a baby) so I was outside.

It was there, by the BBQ, that I noticed a gathering of three black widows. What were they doing out here - I wondered. And why were they gathering? Having grown up and remained in the Valley, I am suspicious of any gathering. And to me, anything more than 2 constitutes a 'gang'. So be they Crips. Bloods, or The Axe Gang (see Kung Foo Hustle) I needed to take action. I ushered my son into the house, gathered my flashlight and lemon scented Raid, and set out to distribute Suburban justice.

Got the inital three. Something odd in me loves the way spiders dance just as they realize they have been poisoned. Really funky! Then, my light spotted yet another group. Going around my house, I ended up slaying (to kill more than 10 counts as slaying) no less than 17 black widows and three cricket bystanders. I was astounded. I never knew how many creepy things come out at night surrounding my house.

But it wasn't over. I decided to go around the fence of my yard looking for spiders in the ivy. I did not get but 5 steps into the yard when a spider dropped down from a tree. Apparently, it's web went from the tree to the wall to the ground, spanning at least 5 feet. And it was not a normal spider. It was a monster. It was like Hagrid's spider from Harry Potter! And when I sprayed it, it had all these crazy kung-fu web moves like an eight legged ninja. I could barely keep my light focused on him, and when I swung to the right, I caught another one in my light. I sprayed him too and he fell to the ground.

I took a few more steps into the darkness of the yard and decided the spiders were only bound to get bigger as I went. As I was heading back to the house, I noticed that the second spider had crawled back up his web, crinkled up, and died swinging in the wind from his own web. To someone new on the scene, it would almost appear as if the spider commited suicide. I wondered if spiders had honor, and if killing oneself held more respect than being snuffed out by a blast of lemony fresh insecticide.

Anthony Butler - have you flipped your bisquit?!?!? What the hell are you talking about? How can this be related to anything of the last 20 years?

Twenty years ago, school lasted ffffooooooorrrrreeeeeevvvvveeeeeerrrrrrr. We were always waiting for the day to end, for the weekend to come, the year to be over. Then summer came and went in a flash and we did it all again. But in always looking forward - did we miss details? Did we remember everything we should have? What did we put aside as not important? We had nothing but time - in our minds - and things were not necessarily crucial to notice.

Now, to me, time is flying. My son is entering kindergarten and I can't believe he's not a baby. I am almost 40 (38 on September 2). My hair is now graying and I have been at my current job 6 years. One year blends into another. I find I am forced to pay attention. The minute details have become the major ones. No, not details about spider hunting, but the things I know I'll want to remember and need to pay attention to now. Granted, not everyone's experiences are the same as mine, but I'm willing to bet some of you have noticed this sort of change in attitude as the years pass for us.

Anthony "Spider Hunter" Butler