Oh, you blinked twice and rubbed your eyes . . . but you read it right. Kathy Hayes assaulted me. Alright, it was in an e-mail but I still took an e-beating.
Usually, I don't open e-mail from people I don't recognize but it said "reunion" so I did. BLAM! She pounced like a tiger - "WHERE IS YOUR MONEY, M****R F****R!" Then she e-dropkicked me and and I fell to the e-ground. She was relentless, kicking my sides while I was down "THE REUNION MONEY! WHERE IS IT YOU MAGGOT?!" I couldn't take it - it was like the episode of Family Guy where Brian owes Stewie a gambling debt. E-bleeding, I looked up at her with my remaining, unswollen eye, and said "I'll get your money, please Kathy, no more." She placed her e-foot on my e-neck and said "Get the money or I'll e-mail you again, bitch." I just held myself and cried.
Er, it is possible some of that is slightly fictitious. Maybe most. Okay, it's all a lie except I did get an e-mail from Kathy Hayes. Kindly, gently, and charmingly, she did indicate I had not yet offered my donation to the Richard Blade Retirement Fund (our reunion.) As I told her in my response, it was very nice of her to use her free time to contact myself, and any other slow pokes who haven't paid yet. With three kids and a business, I'm sure there was plenty of other things she could have been doing so let's honor her effort by getting that money turned in!
Anthony "Past Due" Butler
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